To all them single ladies…
When it’s time to hit the dance floor at a wedding and the DJ starts playing “Single Ladies” by Beyonce…the girls usually go crazy. All the girls come into the floor, and when it’s time to shake their hand like Beyonce, they go crazy. I do too. But then as I shake my bare left hand, there are some “faker’s” out there. Glaring in my face are bright diamond stones shaking back and forth as some of the women wave their hands in the air. A part of me feels likes tripping them. haha.
“When you least look for someone, that’s when you’ll meet someone.” Mental slap to their face as I look down at their 231424 carat diamond.
I recently heard a pastor quote John Newton, “Anything that God sends to you is necessary and anything he withholds from you is not necessary.” Immediately I thought, “damn, God doesn’t think it’s necessary for me to get married right now.”
Why do I want to get married?
- Is it for the glory of God?
- To be a suitable helper to my husband?
- To be the Proverbs 31 wife for my husband?
No, that is my Christian superficial answer.In my heart of hearts, I want to get married so my felt needs could be met. All those Disney movies, rom com’s, and societies values have really informed my understanding of marriage more than the bible has. I want to be the princess in a man’s eyes, I want to be deemed the fairest of them all by my husband, I want to be worth fighting an evil dragon or witch, I want to feel beautiful, I want to feel adored, I want to be loved, I want, I want, I want. My gawd - I am so self-centered.
I usually pray that my future husband will love the Lord more than me. But the above paragraph reveals that I actually don’t. If all those things above were to come true, I essentially want my husband to put me first and foremost and worship me. Rather than the Lord dictating how he lives his life, I want me to dictate how my husband lives his life. Thus…I would actually be a terrible helper, and I would steal glory that God would deserve from my husband so I could receive glory. I would be an awful wife.
If my husband didn’t make me feel special, beautiful, loved, adored, etc., I believe I would lord the verse, “Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church” over him all the time.
I’ve come to recognize that I want to get married not for God’s glory, but for my own. Perhaps that’s why marriage is not necessary for me right now. I would be a glory stealer.
If any of you feel this way, I think there’s only thing to do. Repent. Repent of all your wrong motives for wanting to get married. Repent for wanting to steal worship from God. Repent for all the selfish reasons - cause at the end, you only want to get married for you, not for God, not for your husband, but only for you…only for me.
Bam.
